Merry Christmas

MERRY CHIRSTMAS, peeps. Its christmas. Get your freaking ass out on the road. Havefun.Getdrunk.Enjoy. A year is ending. It hardly feels like a year. Time to put the past behind us. Time really flies; fast. HOHOHO, santa coming down the chimney.

When there's me, there's you.

& there everything.

Baby, tonight i shall close my eyes.

To think of only you;

It's a fantasy.

Chapters ; We have started.

Your love have left me feeling crazy;

86400 Miss calls.

You said to give miss call,

for everytime ,

i miss you.

Baby, Look at your phone,

There would be 86400 miss calls

In 86400 seconds, A day.

from me,

If i were to ring you.

Every second, Every minute, Every day

You are stuck in my little thousands millions braincells.

I try to picture what's going on your mind.

Rain .

Awesome day, awesome rain, let's love today.

Cold; if you were here to hug, it would been warm.

My mind going haywire; checking my inbox every now & then.

The thoughts of you been wrecking my brain.

This chill is getting to me.

Memories of you 's on the replay like

the song on my phone.

You'll never find someone like me.

Those tears,

Cry it all out. Let it wash away; ur pain & hurt. As those tears dries up. Let nobody have the right to take away your smile. I know all you wanna do is smile just like everyone else. But this is one of the hardest part of life; being hurt. Babe, it's just the beginning.I know you have what it takes to pick up yourself. Sitting in an empty room, you wished it wasn't like this. It's time you made a decision. You try to figure out where you went wrong.

You have my shoulder to lean on.

crazy?!?

Day 4,
& I've been wishing that u would pop out on my msn window. Didn't thought i was this crazy. But I've been smiling as i walk, thinking about those little memories we had. A memory keeps replaying in my mind. The time, when we walked by each other. We had smiled & looked at each other. Now i wish, that time had stopped there.

Written in the stars,

You are Millions miles away,

A message to tell you; those 3 powerful words.

Seasons come & go,

But it feels like you are the only one.

Sigh, as usual been rotting in tuiton. Exams are here for my students.
One student down, still got 3 more. It feels like it is MY EXAM. I seriously need a break. Tika(Nepali Traditional Festival) here. Yipee? hahas, even the word yipee can't describe it. Tika=$.$
This is the best. :)

GIFTS???GIFTS???GUY??

A gift for a guy,

Didn't think it won't be this hard.

All this time, i thought it was easy,

today i was wrong.

My love,

Not sure, whether u will like it.

But you always said

It's the thoughts that counts.

Hope you really love it :)

I really hope you get fat eating those chocolates .

<3

Someday,

& Maybe someday we'll figure it out.

Try to put an end to all our doubt,

& Try to find a way to make things better now that.

Maybe someday we'll live our life loud.

We will be better off someday, someday.

& he says, I'm Fully Reserved

& there u go again.





Sometimes , it's hard to believe it's you. Few years back, I tried to keep that thought away. Never did i know , u thought the same. Now, You have Become the Reason for my Late Night Kisses & Smiles. These thoughts have been wrecking my brain. But, You have become the reason for my Late night sleeps.

Still love me, The Way I am?

But..

My , The Other Side Of Fear.

But, somehow, I don't want to lose you. Somehow, I want to think about you, all the time.

& Somehow, I want you to do the same. I wann to tell you, tht I'll be there. I'm trying. Sometimes, It doesn't feel real. Thats what I fear the most.With you, it's feels different. There are things I just wanna say it out, all. But there are things that i fear the most. This feeling, I had it in the beginning. It still the same, it don't want to let it go. & Yet I don't want you to know.

~

& suddenly you leave me, hanging there.

Holding on,

I'm holding on to it, as tightly as i can. It feels like it's gonna slip away, but i don't want it too.

& honey, he calls me

Last night, you left me smiling to myslef to sleep and with tears of happiness. I didn't realise; i had many happy moments with you in such a short time. But you made me realised, last night. Then, you became the reason for my smile. :) I still don't believe that you remembered every bits of that moments. The boring movie, we went to watch with your friends. I still remember that i nearly fell asleep & there you were beside me, feeling cold with my jacket on. & the horror movie, we went to watch. You weren't even scared & there i was screaming while you were laughing. & Last night, you said my scream was scarier than the horror movie. With all this, I suddenly missed watching movie with you. Now, you call me honey. It's like you knew my secret that I had Once upon a time, I had ....d you. & Last night, it felt as if that feeling came back. :)

My past,

With Love <3

why is it so hard?

Can we pretend that the airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars.

I could really use a wish right now, a wish.

-

Day 2. & i'm still don't feel like talking to anyone. (Haven't picked up calls or replied my messages.) More like i don't want to socialise, with ANYONE. Feeling depressed, i guess. Why is it always this hard to know what i'm feeling? My feelings, my instincts, my thoughts cannot be trusted. It always the opposite. There must be heap of regrets. I can't even keep track of it. Its always the last moment i am regretting. Alteast the tears should konck first. It's rude! It's hard to move on. Feeling terrible & stress. As usual there's no reason for what i'm feeling. I wish I could just sit down and watch the world pass by. Maybe the reason, lies somewhere in the past.

~

Just gonna stand there, & hear me cry?

Love the way, it hurts.

Happy Nurse Day

The Beggars.

Happy Belated Nursing Day. It's on the 28. Uploading for the sake of uploading. Since this hadi aka shristi was irritating me to upload. hehe.
Anyways, there was show and free food. So these people who are sitting down, wanted to go. haha. Free food duh. haha. Had fun cheering for people who performed.

Me & Binu.

She was the one who wanted to take photo.

I guess she jus wanted to show off her new style -Manoj Kumar.(An Indian Actor )

hahas. so expected of her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, laxmi

The Birthday Girl

HAPPY SWEET 17th BIRTHDAY! You're offically 17. Now you will turn 18 next year. It 's like half the year just pass by. Feels old? Arrr.. well i do . Even though, i haven't turned 17 yet. hehe. YOUNGEST of the BLUSH, arr yet the oldest and mature looking. (well thats what everybody says) Well, Laxmi! REMEBER always smile! :) You look beautiful like that, don't stop even if you go nepal and miss us. ( i hope you will miss us, right?) Since the day , we h've met we created special memories. haha, you will always be the baby in our group. :D This year will be the last birthday you will be celebrating with us! Since half the year has jus pass like that , the year will end soon. Makes me think about you leaving. You better cry when you leave us. haha :D

Today morning, die die woke up early to go hospital. waah , wait so long. One hour.
Evn the service not good. Didn't like the way the woman spoke. :( Ate HUGE claypot rice. Of course, shared with Urmila and Sujan! (I'm on a diet! hahas.) Quickly, rushed to Urmila's home to make the photo ablum. LAXMI ! you look so different compared to last time. Anyways was still wondering what to wear for the birthday outing. haha, was told to wear my jacket. Someone said i never left my jacket alone. Afterall, got to hide my RAINFOREST right??? SAVE THE RAINFOREST ! haha...

LAter in the evening, WAHh... walked so much jus to eat. Finally decided on pizza hut. :D not bad. Secretly, brought a cake and hide it under the table while we ate. Suddenly this Laxmi wanted to go starbucks. I winked at BINU to take out the cake, but i guess they wanted to save it for the last. When i winked at binu, there was this guy staring at ME! It was like i was winking at him. Like giving hint. Lied to Laxmi that there's something on her eye. :D Haha! When she closed her eyes, binu and Sabina ran out of the pizza hut with the cake. Later, Me , Urmila and Laxmi went starbucks to meet them. Told Laxmi to close her eyes, lied that there was her prince charming infront . haha. Suprised her with cake. and Gave her present. SAD! She didn't cry. (you know when people get touched). Drank huge java chips coffee. Still having stomachache from it.

Someone said " YAH OPPA! SARANG HAE YEO" and showed the heart shape to some random guy! AH!embarrassing. haha, i wonder what he thought. He must have gotten the shock of his life :D

Anways , had fun today!

way past midnight

It's past midnight. (way past midnight) . I'm sleepy, but i guess my excitment is keeping me awake. It's been so long that i am able to stay up this long. Dad finally bought me moblie broadband. Super happy. Thanks dad. Not not forget, ate chicken wing jus few minutes ago! Teeheee. Argh, Need to go hospital tmr in the early morning but im still awake. better go sleep, otherwise dad will think i'm taking advantage of the good thing. &

I stiil wonder is it in our genes to do everything at the last minute? even for the happy occassions?

Random dayz..

Teehee! Finally! After so long, finally blogging. Didn't knew poly would take up most of my time and not to mention my tuition. I wonder, is it guys' genes to be so irritating? (maybe i'm jus unlucky? one of them includes my bro and my tuition kids... eg.) Now currently, in school cafe! Beside me there's 3 hot babes. (forced to say!) Urmila, Sujan & Shashi. yesh! Won't be attending lecture. hehe. Escaping with Shashi to go ICA building. Not to forget! Tomorrow -It's my dearest best friend birthday. ' LAXMI ' :) Looking forward to spending time with her. But will have to go hospital for a jab (injection). This morning, just saw this chuawk (handsome) guy..(why did god made so little chuawk guys?) I'm going gooogooo gaaagaaa over Lucifer. Shinee's New ablum! :D

Thank you!

This goes to SHRISTI !

Teeeheeeeeeeeeeeee.

Thanks for editing my blog !

You are the best & an expert !

Teeeee.

thanG you. :D

Selfish

I stomped on my dignity,

& loved you.

I cried everytime when i think of you.

That few months was enough for me to think.

Enough time in the world.

As time passed,

I regretted giving you my love.

I regretted holding you back.

I cried alot because of you.

Why do i have to face this pain alone.

I cried silently and wordlessly.

Boy, I can never forget the hurt.

The world without you

has just begun.

Is it wrong that i wanna laugh again?

Is it wrong that i want something more,

after that 3 years?

If i were to give u 1 more chance,

I would only be giving u high hopes.

By then it would be too late for me,

for you; There will only be a empty shell of mine.

I will be with you, and if

i wanted something more .

Then going back to you would be my biggest regret.

& i would blame myself &

some people

who gave me the thought of giving you another chance.

I know i'm selfish.

You may see it from his view,

but what about mine?

It feels different

Why does it feel so different?

Why is it that i can't find the answer

To the question i'm asking.

Is It You Or Me.

It's like everything have just changed,

In few seconds.

Maybe It Me,

But Your The Reason Behind It.

It's Like Everything Have Fallen Apart,

Yet I'm Happy.

This always happen, why?

More reasons behind it.

Tonight

Tonight i miss you the most.

Every tears i shed is in your name.

Every tears i shed is because you're in my every thoughts.

I remember how you would hold me in your arms.

You were my every warmth.

Now it just feels cold.

& Everything reminds me of you.

Your smell, your voice, your warmth.

Even when i close my eyes,

I think of you.

It's hard thinking of you rather than not to.

& It's hard not to think about you.

I remember every look upon your face

& The way you hold me.

my 2010 valentine's

HAPPY VAlENTINE'S DAY

To those who are dateless.

haha .

like ME!

SO spent my TIMES with my girlfrens.

Ordered pizzas and kfc

To fatten ourselves.

& then complain later.

hehee (:

To my valentine,

Thank you for loving me

For who i am.

Thanks you for giving

& showering all your love.

& for beening there

To listen to my nonsense.

Though i say this alot,

I still wanna say that I Love You.

Day been hard to pass by

& you've always been in my mind.

Missing you alot.

Missing your hugs & kisses.

your kisses , my lullaby.

waiting for you.

To my second valentines,

Jus wanted to tell you guys that

I Love You.

If it weren't for you , my life wouldn't be this beautiful.

&

Not forgetting,

Cheers for being dateless on valentine's day.

My everything.

Someone told me i shouldn't take happiness for granted.
& that i have to be thankful for that,

Sometimes when i think.

sometimes when i wonder.

I ask myself.

If i weren't have met you, would i be this crazily in love.

If i weren't have met you, would i be this happy?

If i weren't have met you, would i still have heartache.

Would i even have love someone this much?

Just wanna thank you, for loving me this much.

For even to have noticed me.

For even to love me despite the flaws.

Not to forget, my frens & importantly BLUSh.

Sometimes when i think , if it weren't for them

i wonder,

would i still be the same person i am today.

If it weren't for them, would i be this happy?

If it weren't for them, i wouldn't have someone to laugh with or even gossip about.

If it weren't for them , i wouldn't have someone to tell my lame jokes too.

If it weren't for them, they wouldn't be there to laugh at my lame jokes.

If it weren't for them , they wouldn't be there to laugh at my flaws.

Thanks you guys.

You guys been there with me.

My Everything.

a new beginning ?

2010.

& it doesn't feel like a new year,

atleast i wouldn't have to go school..

but i will have to go poly.

so it means gonna a have a whole new wardrobe of clothes , laptop & maybe a new phone.

haha

so gotta keep earning money!

kinda excitin but scared.

gonna do somethin different, gonna meet different peoples.

but can't wait also.

mustafa

Yesterday, went to mustafa with lax & urmi.

haha. went jus to buy the pani puri.

then we made pani puri at sabina;s house, not to forget that we made wantons also & nasi lemak.

hehe.

god, im gaining weight.

on the day i'm dieting, why is there always food?

god knows.

or maybe im jus unlucky?>

haha.

anyways. we were talkin abt rings.

den lax suddenly said im going jus because of material ?

(jus a little hurt , maybe a little pissed. but what the heck, used to it.)

while i guess if i were to go out for material , i would be wearing diamonds by now not sliver

right.

so couldn't sleep that night.

maybe it was because when i called someone, someone else picked up the phone, or maybe it was lax 's question or maybe it was the stuff we talked about; pregnancy, gossips & guys ?

well it really bothered me.

till not feeling quite right !

listen to wedding dress song all night till 4 plus.

finally , drift off to sleep until i got a nightmare.

my sorrows

nver shared my sorrows & worries.
cause it never helped me in a way or another.
to me, i'm only making other people helpless.
they will jus give u advice/s .
they wouldn't be able get off that saddness, that heavy burden weighin on your shoulders go away.
it's hard.
it's hard sharing sometimes.
i keep it all inside me; my sorrows, my anger .
& then maybe cry it out.
& nobody knows.