But..

My , The Other Side Of Fear.

But, somehow, I don't want to lose you. Somehow, I want to think about you, all the time.

& Somehow, I want you to do the same. I wann to tell you, tht I'll be there. I'm trying. Sometimes, It doesn't feel real. Thats what I fear the most.With you, it's feels different. There are things I just wanna say it out, all. But there are things that i fear the most. This feeling, I had it in the beginning. It still the same, it don't want to let it go. & Yet I don't want you to know.

~

& suddenly you leave me, hanging there.

Holding on,

I'm holding on to it, as tightly as i can. It feels like it's gonna slip away, but i don't want it too.

& honey, he calls me

Last night, you left me smiling to myslef to sleep and with tears of happiness. I didn't realise; i had many happy moments with you in such a short time. But you made me realised, last night. Then, you became the reason for my smile. :) I still don't believe that you remembered every bits of that moments. The boring movie, we went to watch with your friends. I still remember that i nearly fell asleep & there you were beside me, feeling cold with my jacket on. & the horror movie, we went to watch. You weren't even scared & there i was screaming while you were laughing. & Last night, you said my scream was scarier than the horror movie. With all this, I suddenly missed watching movie with you. Now, you call me honey. It's like you knew my secret that I had Once upon a time, I had ....d you. & Last night, it felt as if that feeling came back. :)

My past,

With Love <3

why is it so hard?

Can we pretend that the airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars.

I could really use a wish right now, a wish.

-

Day 2. & i'm still don't feel like talking to anyone. (Haven't picked up calls or replied my messages.) More like i don't want to socialise, with ANYONE. Feeling depressed, i guess. Why is it always this hard to know what i'm feeling? My feelings, my instincts, my thoughts cannot be trusted. It always the opposite. There must be heap of regrets. I can't even keep track of it. Its always the last moment i am regretting. Alteast the tears should konck first. It's rude! It's hard to move on. Feeling terrible & stress. As usual there's no reason for what i'm feeling. I wish I could just sit down and watch the world pass by. Maybe the reason, lies somewhere in the past.

~

Just gonna stand there, & hear me cry?

Love the way, it hurts.